Tumbleweed

As the days go by, I think to myself if the investment is worth it?

The investment of wanting to feel.

Do we really need these sentimental values rummaging our brains that slit you apart at the tiniest hint of doubt?

It feels unnecessary at the end of all episodes.

We go through so many orders of feelings that are linked to past experiences, and let them consume our thinking.

It de-rationalizes us.

We should fake our everyday in front of the audience so no one asks questions. Isn’t that what we do anyway? We mock our reality into a happy stage for people to smile and clap about with no examination.

If we did that all the time, we wouldn’t have to deal with feelings.

We wouldn’t have to deal with the aftermath of them and we can continue to live this daily soap known as life, focusing on ourselves.

Dehumanizing as it sounds, in today’s scene where human compassion is simulated and made a joke out of – it needs no explanation when I say that it’s unnecessary.

We don’t have to be selfless in an epoch where everyone’s criterion is a narrow focused lane to the top.

The sides of their journey are like tumbleweed.

They appear from time to time, and pass by when the flurry of wind picks up.

We are tumbleweed.

We don’t stay for them.

Neither should they for us.

 

Reflection

Can we submerge ourselves in a world different to what’s pushed against us all the time? Can we side-track our thoughts although we’ve not contemplated new ideas?

Have you ever just taken a seat to watch the world whiz by while you dissolve in the spinning?

No? Maybe you should. Sit yourself down and take in what’s happening. You’ll realize that the consequences you face are because of what you did and what you did alone.

I’d love to point a finger and say YOU did this because then I can just shoulder off my guilt. So much more easier to deal with, but when you take the back-seat for a minute, let the insanity in your mind calm down, you start to become fully aware that the mercurial-you is what’s causing your dip.

And with that – a chain of unnecessary events start to take-off.

Stop.

You’ve reached the brink of your deplorable decision-making and now you may endure its aftermath. Is it frustrating? Yes. It goes up and over what someone would call dis-belief, but eminence is a must.

This is the time of reflection and as much as you think you don’t need it, you might actually do. Take a deep breath and consider this an opportunity to reconstruct your resolutions.
Amidst the shit-fly there’s always a tiny way out and if you choose to not take it, you’ll spiral down in an abyss with no bottom. Despite the monochrome events that seem to have taken over your life, you alone can bring colour to it again.

Breath in positivity and build the skyscraper of transfiguration in you a block at a time.

 

Inebriation

‘Her heart rips and bleeds, no one sees it.

Her lips are crimson red, yet no one knows why.

She pulls off the mask and lets the rouge of her cheeks turn an icy blue.

She lives while her soul slowly dies.

It cries for mercy, it cries for the turmoil to settle, but she is far from being at ease.

What you see is an illusion. An illusion that blends all the flawlessness into an orb that seems to refine itself with every passing day.

A desolate mind is weaving its own web of despair. A grief that can’t be spoken about in case she were to become hysterical from her aching soul.

She carries the pain while stumbling along the shoreline of the menacing sea. The inebriated grey waves call out to her to submerge her in.

“Come inside and be with us”they say, she obliges.

She sinks, drowns.

The feeling feels natural.

Almost like she wanted to near fatality, yet wait for more.

More she waited for.’

The Joker

There was a time when thoughts flustered my mind.

I don’t like fluster.

That time wasn’t too long ago, and it wasn’t until just recently I realized my clarity had reached an almost-good enough percentage.

I was so caught up in the moment about something until I couldn’t afford to anymore.

I had other things to worry about.

Other significant things to conquer.

I left that place of muddle and focused on myself for a bit.

I had priorities set for another task, but during my prioritization, I realized that my life wasn’t just about trying to fix one variable.

There was an assembly of other factors influencing my mind. So many other beings out there making me feel something better, making me take that detour.

I tried too long to be the Queen in a situation that wasn’t worthy of ruling.

I needed a joker to get me out. 

I needed a wild card. 

I was so tired of trying to make right, I wanted to throw it away. I didn’t want to wait for it to come back.

All it took was a little bit of time.

I was running through the stack trying to win the game, but all I needed was a joker to get me out.

It isn’t about just one thing that makes you happy.

It’s a collective effort of your surroundings hell bent on taking you with them to a happier place.

So once time and I went on a stroll, a rather long stroll, an intense long stroll, I let myself believe I can get out.

My mind broke down into a number of pieces, sucking out the ones I could no longer work with.

I played my joker card, and it was more liberating than ever being the Queen of a barren land.

And so the crown was kicked aside.

Cloud Walk

It travels long across the ocean for a glimpse at that shiny shore sand.
It perches at the mouth of a cave watching the waves lash at the rocks.
It soars above to feel the tiny droplets of water.
It glides with the clouds to feel the pleasantness of nothing.
It is my mind.

My mind makes the immiscible bound.
It blows blurriness into out-of proportion vividness.
Eccentricities are the order.
Time warps are moldable
Black holes lead to another paradise.
New worlds are made.
New civilizations prosper.
It is my mind, and it will never be tame.